Daryhl Covington

ANN ARBOR, MI — A University of Michigan student with over 300 Guinness World Records to his name recaptured one of his previous titles by balancing an afro pick on his nose for 48 minutes and 17 seconds. 

Brayden Simon, who spends his free time breaking “diverse” world records to help combat racial inequality, originally set the record for longest duration balancing an afro pick on his nose in 2017, when he reached the mark of 4 minutes and 32 seconds. 

Simon’s initial record was later beaten multiple times by other white people hoping to combat racial inequality. The record stood at 17 minutes and 38 seconds when Simon decided to take on the challenge again. 

"It was difficult. I was almost ready to give up after 20 minutes, but I kept going for every poor Black child depending on me to break the record. I did this for them. I had to show those children that anything is possible if you put your mind to it," Simon said. 

He finished with a time of 54 minutes and 17 seconds, more than tripling the previous mark. 

Correction: An earlier version of this story used “urban comb” instead of afro pick. Thearticle has been updated with more culturally sensitive terminology.

I was smoking on the porch when I saw him flying down the street in that ugly ass, bright purple Charger. He had the music so damn loud I heard him way before I could see him, though. You couldn’t hear shit but the bass, but he was rapping like he understood every word. Even had some jewelry on — a couple gold Cubans and an iced-out Rollie. His fade was crispy too. 

He wanted the whole block to see him flex. Especially Ashley. He had his whole upper body hanging out the window just to make sure she saw him. He was so distracted he didn't even notice the car was drifting. 

I think he realized what was going on when his ass started driving over the curb. He tried slamming the brakes, but all that did was make the tires squeal. Thank God he crashed into Mrs. Johnson’s old tree instead of her kids or the house. 

The Charger got fucked up, but that was about it. It didn't seem like he was in any pain, and I couldn’t find a scratch on him. I asked if he was straight, but he didn't hear a word I was saying. He just kept crying about how his older brother was gonna beat his ass.

What Happened to Desmond?