Jackson D. Moorman
Before Labor
The hospital sends us home
at dusk, our son a horizon
in your belly. The misoprostol
to pry you open one millimeter
at a time. It could be lightning
quick or slow as a Pacific storm
rolling in. We make coffee. We slide open
the screen door, sit on the balcony,
watch the purpling branches lull and twist
and lull again. You stand, belly to the railing,
palms up like bowls to catch any hint of rain.
You, unabashed in your thirst.
Days past ready to crack open
towards the edge of yourself and him.
Braver than any stormchaser, softer than any
quiet center. It’ll be hours until
the sky dilates. Until the birds go still
for just a moment, then burst into flight.
My brother, the captain,
steers his rusted Corolla out to the docks
at 4 every morning. Narragansett dawn, ships
rolling in their half sleep. Slides on rubber boots,
salt-stained coveralls, knit beanie I got him
last Christmas. He’s grown muscled
these past years, a man overlapping
the little boy I’ll always expect. Every time
I return home to Boston, a new scar
pinking his hands as he reveals in them,
gleaming, a ridged shell from his newest batch
of oysters. Beavertail, Frost Bite, Harvest Moon.
Healed wound from the shucking knife, the steel
cables, the cage’s slippery edge. He calls me
on a Santa Cruz morning so violently bright
I can hardly tell ocean from sun. Tells me
they almost capsized today. Atlantic so cold it’ll kill
you much faster than you can remember the names of
everyone you’ve ever loved. Gale weather, radar down,
fog thick enough to taste. I can hear his smile
on the other end of the line, know that flavor
of joy all too well. That the end would have been
legend, not just sadness. The danger finally external.
The catastrophe finally from the outside, not in.
Jackson D. Moorman (he/him) is a queer and trans poet, organizer, and nurse who lives in Oakland with his wife, son, and two tiny rescue mutts. He is co-creator of the poetry journal Frozen Sea and co-organizer of a poetry series for Palestine, In Water & Light. His work has appeared or is forthcoming in Shō Poetry Journal, the minnesota review, and elsewhere. Read more of his work at jacksondmoorman.com.
Artwork: “Toy Boat” by Daniel Lurie
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